Sunday, 15 April 2012

Remember the ice cream van?


The ice cream van's jingle floated to our ears on the summer breeze
If we turned our childish heads slightly it was gone
So we stopped our football game in Mourne road circle
And craned our necks once more to catch the vanilla flavoured song

I turned my face into the wind slowly and suddenly it was there again
'He's Popeye the Sailor man, he lives in a caravan'
It drifted across the corporation house rooftops
In the street the kids paused their game of 'kick the can'

There was a pregnant pause as we analysed the acoustics
To see if the van was coming this time
A Mexican stand off to see who would break ranks first
before the mad dash home to get 10p for a 99

Some couldn't wait and and leapt over the green railings
An ice cream scatter ensued as the players sought money
'He opened the door and he fell down a shore'
The jingle drew closer and I could feel a gurgling ice cream yearning in my tummy

I clutched my money in my impish sweaty palm and stood on the skinny path
'He's Popeye the sailor man, toot toot'
The van pulled up and and the jingle ceased
And I squeezed to queue and claimed my spot with my monkey boot

We sat on the warm grass in the circle
And licked the cream as the red sauce along our knuckles ran
Then we laid on our backs and heard it again on the breeze
'He's Popeye the sailor man'










Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Cock of the walk...


Piers Morgan, the 'love him or hate him' TV impresario and former editor of the Mirror newspaper, has the following description on his Twitter profile 'One minute you are cock of the walk, the next a feather duster'.

I can attest to the validity of that statement in the most real and stark way, my company just ceased trading, it's not a new or surprising story in the current economic environment, we were simply one of the fifteen companies closing down every day in Ireland in recent months.

Cash is more than tight for all businesses at the moment, but if you are running a small business and cash runs dry, you find yourself in trouble very very quickly. But hey, this is not just another blog about the economic situation, there are many tales of woe out there and I am not the wallowing type.
When a company goes bust there are lots of obvious casualties, staff lose their jobs, creditors are left short, taxes are often behind in terms of payment and the companies who rely on you to buy their goods and services are left with a hole in their revenue stream which they need to fill. When a company goes to the wall there are no winners, even good competitors don't like to see you go bust as they know that competition keeps everyone on their toes.

I am also ever mindful of the startling statistics on suicide these days, particularly amongst middle aged men, I can only vaguely imagine the heartache and desolation these people must feel before they end their lives and the anguish and sadness felt by their family and friends. I am pretty sure some of these unfortunate souls are victims of the current economic meltdown and the unbearable pressure of losing jobs and businesses, it's a sad state of affairs. Losing your job or your business is a traumatic event in your life, some people can handle it but some people simply cannot come to terms with the seemingly untenable situation they find themselves in.

Yes indeed, losing one's job or business is a serious topic and one which is becoming a familiar theme at this time. What has really struck me though, and the reason for this latest blogpost, is the seismic shift which occurs in your life when the shutters come down on your business. Times were tough in our business and every day was a struggle to survive, but we were still a business, a coterie of people working together to keep things on as even a keel as possible, a working family who spent 8 hours of every day trying to reinvent themselves and the company to cope with the visceral reality of shrinking margins, longer credit terms to customers and a generally abysmal business landscape. Now please don't get me wrong, there are plenty of small businesses out there who are thriving at this time, and to them I say well done......and please watch that cash!

When you are running a small business you enjoy a certain status, you are captain of the ship, the boss, the gaffer, the main man, you command a certain respect from customers, staff and suppliers, your word is weighty and your opinion is sought after and highly regarded, you are an important person, you ultimately call the shots and when you talk people sit up and listen. And the funny thing is that you don't really realise these things until it all suddenly stops, you sometimes don't value the status and respect you enjoy until it has literally vanished.

I have spent the last couple of weeks trying to start the process of winding up the company, the most arduous part of this task being the actual packing up of all of the company stock and assets and the organising of all of your works chattels to be transported to a warehouse in Finglas for the eventual liquidator to deal with. It all sounds very dramatic but in reality there is no drama, as you carry yet another computer screen down two flights of stairs (how many bloody PC screens does a small company need?) and your head grows dizzy from cling wrapping pallets, your mind floats back a few days to when you really were cock of the walk, when someone answered the phone and screened your calls for you, when suppliers wanted to do business with you, when customers wanted to pay you and when your staff wanted to dazzle you with their brilliance and make you happy that you hired them!

And as you pack away the books and brochures from the shelf behind the desk in that large office you once held dominion over, you inadvertently knock off the dust that is lying there, you pause to contemplate the huge change that has just taken place in your working life and it is precisely at this point that you remember Piers Morgan's words and you realise that you now are..................... a feather duster!

Thursday, 12 January 2012

‘And so shines a good deed!’

'And so shines a good deed'...remember the quote and who said it, come on you must remember it; rack your brains, well…can you recall?

Yes you’ve got it, it is indeed a quotation from the movie ‘Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ starring Gene Wilder as the enigmatic and irrepressible Willy Wonka. The original book from which the Movie is derived was of course ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ by Roald Dahl.




The young boy Charlie Bucket has visited the chocolate factory and experienced its many awe inspiring wonders including the everlasting gob-stopper. Wonka gifts Charlie one of the gob-stoppers with the caveat that he mustn’t let his candy nemesis Mr Slugworth get hold of it as he would copy it for his own nefarious profit.





Any fan of the film will remember Wonka’s rant near the end at Charlie and the kindly Grandpa Joe, Wonka pulls the rug out from under Charlie by citing an illicit sampling of product by the boy and his grandfather as just cause to deem any contracts null and void, in short Charlie had won the greatest prize of his life, the Wonka chocolate factory, but Willie Wonka had whipped out the smallprint and lay Charlie’s dream in shreds.
The boy had a moral dilemma, should he spite Wonka (and also earn some cash) by selling the everlasting gob-stopper to old Slugworth, or should he simply return the wondrous piece of candy to Wonka as hence walk away back to his life of poverty and grind.

And so Charlie chooses the latter option and places the candy on the desk beside Wonka thus prompting the iconic quotation ‘And so shines a good deed!’

Of course we the viewers are left with a moral dilemma to struggle with, what would we do in the same situation, would we give him back his damn candy or would we run as fast as our little Charlie legs could carry us to find Slugworth to cut a deal.

I am of course going to tell you I would have done exactly what Charlie did, but then I have the benefit of hindsight and I already know the ending is a happy one for the boy, but what is this feature of the human psyche which embodies such nobility and kindness for our fellow man and woman, and more importantly why do some of us feel obligated to do good while other people appear, on the face of things, to be inherently evil?

I was once faced with my own gob-stopper type dilemma, read on to find out what happened...

From the time I was ten years old I ran errands for my mother to the local shop to buy the staple grocery items; bread, milk, sausages and the like. I pretty much followed the same routine every day, get home from school, drop my schoolbag and head down to the local shop for my mother. I usually went to the local Mace store on Belbulben Road in Drimnagh, South Dublin, which was run by a man called Peter Mahon and his wife (whose name escapes me right now, possibly Sylvia), I developed a relationship with Mr Mahon over the years and we were on first name terms, I was a regular in his store and even though I was just a kid he treated me with dignity and respect, well heck I was a paying customer after all!

On one particular day my Mam gave me ten pounds to head down to the Mace shop to get some milk and bread, she always had me wrap any money notes around a small coin to lessen the chance of losing them out of my pocket, times were tight and ten pounds went a long way back in 1977, I stuck the money my pocket and held onto it for dear life as I headed down Mourne Road to the shops.

I greeted Mr Mahon as usual as I entered the shop, he was a tall imposing man and always had a pen stuck behind his ear which made him look more important, he was constantly busy packing shelves, sweeping the floor or slicing ham behind the counter, he gave me a wink and a cheery hello as usual. I walked around the small shop and gathered my grocery items in my cradled arms before heading to the till where Mr Mahon was waiting to serve me, there were no barcode scanning in those days (God I am old) and he pressed the large buttons on his the big clunky cash register before the cash drawer finally opened with a loud ‘Ding’.
I reached into my pocket for the ten pound note and handed it over, it was still wrapped up around the ten pence coin, Mr Mahon smiled and started to count my change from the cash drawer as some more people walked into the shop, as usual he greeted them with gusto and dropped the mixture of coins and notes into my hand, as always I immediately stuck the money right down deep into my trouser pocket, bid a farewell to Mr Mahon and headed home.

My Mam was busy in the kitchen as I hauled the bag of shopping up onto the counter, I dutifully unpacked the items  and folded the plastic canvas shopping bag and stuck it down the space beside the fridge, I was all done with my daily shopping task and as my Mothers beaming smile meant she was a happy camper, one last task was for me to give my mother the change, I reached into my pocket and pulled a mash of coins and some notes, I slapped it all on the counter for my Mam to put back into her purse.

I was about to turn and walk away when I glanced at the pile of money, immediately I caught an image of a man on one of the notes which I knew well, it was the unmistakable image of Jonathan Swift emblazoned on a red ten pound note, my eyes lifted to seek out my Mother, my heart started to beat faster and my face grew hot, I felt as if I had done something wrong, that somehow it was my fault that Mr Mahon had given me back the original tenner which I had proffered for the shopping!

My Mothers eyes smiled back at me ‘Would you look at that, Mr Mahon has given you back the ten pound note by mistake, now what do you think we should do?’. I can remember my instinctive thought process as clear as day, we simply had to give it back, it was in our DNA, and we both knew that anything other than this action would be a bad deed.

‘I should bring it back to Mr Mahon’ I answered, ‘Yes you should, now go ahead and get it done’ my Mother replied as she waved me out of the kitchen.

I grabbed the crisp new ten pound note and held it up my nose, oh it smelt so good, I took a ten pence piece and wrapped it up in the middle of the note, as good as it felt to hold it in my hands I knew this money belonged to someone else and I needed to return it to its rightful owner.

As I ran down Mourne Road towards the Mace store my mind was racing, would Mr Mahon wonder why I hadn’t come back sooner with the note, had he missed it yet, would he be angry with me in some way, would he reward me with some chocolate maybe or a pack of Golf Ball chewing gum?

I kept running but this time the note and coin were clasped in the middle of my small sweaty palms, I kept looking at it as I was running along, making sure it was still there, I was holding Mr Mahons money in my hand and I was not about to lose it!

I arrived at the shop hot and flustered and panting furiously, Mr Mahon looked happy enough as he served another customer; he glanced at me quizzically as I walked toward him.
I waited for the customer to walk away and then held up my open hand to Mr Mahon ‘This ten pound is yours Mr Mahon’, he stared at the note in my hand for what seemed like an eternity but didn’t speak, his face turned from that quizzical look to one of relief, he hadn’t know the note was missing but was obviously relieved to get it back.

H didn’t make a big deal of it at the time as I feel he wanted to keep the incident between the two of us (and my Mam).
He gently took the note from my hand and released the ten pence coin which he then handed back to me, he hit the button to open the cash register drawer and deftly slipped the ten pound note underneath the black plastic coin tray, I watched as Jonathan Swift disappeared amidst a bundle of assorted historical celebrities which were found on other notes, an array of Queen Maebhs from the one pound note, a decent number of the bald Scotus from the five pound note, a couple of Swifts and I thought I seen at least one image of James Joyce from the Blue twenty pound note but I couldn’t be fully sure.

He shut the till and with it, I thought, my prospect of any reward, the sweet anticipation of a chocolate dime bar in my mouth dissipated quickly, he then stood up and reached into his pocket and produced a bundle of notes. Mr Mahon slipped out a one pound note and held it out to me with a large smile on his face ‘and so shines a good deed’ he quipped as I hesitantly took the note from his hand, our eyes met and I knew I was Charlie Bucket to his Willie Wonka, my stomach was churning with excitement and all I wanted to do was run home and show my mother my crisp one pound note. I thanked Mr Mahon and turned on my heels to run home with him shouting after me that he would see me tomorrow as usual for my shopping.

And so a good deed was carried out on that fateful day, we did the right thing by giving back the money, it may have seemed easier to say nothing, to keep the money and reap the benefit of it, but we both knew that Mr Mahon was a hard working business man and that the right thing to do was hand him the money. Having carried out the good deed I felt liberated as I skipped up my street, of course the one pound note in my pocket helped to sugar coat things for me and certainly put an extra spring in my step.
Some people feel we live in a highly cynical world, a bleak society where a dog-eat-dog mentality prevails and a society where nobody has time to help one another.

Call me naïve but I simply don’t believe this is completely true, sure there is real evil in this world and no end of folks who would slit your ear off for a fiver, but I try to eclipse this evil by recognising all of the inherently good people around us, family, friends and strangers alike. People who are prepared to help you out in whatever way they can because they know that you would do the same for them.

I will sign off with a small story about another good deed I experienced recently. I had left some trousers into our local dry cleaners and they managed to lose them, they searched and searched and could not find where they had misplaced them, the unfortunate conclusion by both parties was that they would have to compensate me for the trousers, however I didn’t want the money I really just wanted my trousers back.

I called in to the dry cleaners one final time this week in the hope that they had found my items and guess what, well some kind lady had found them in her wardrobe, she knew they were not hers and she promptly brought them back to the cleaners. I was reunited with my favourite trousers and the cleaner did not have to fork out for a couple of new pairs, we were happy all round.

Another example of a good deed carried out by someone because it probably made them feel nice to do so, it made them feel good to be kind to another human being, just like I felt when handing the money back to Mr Mahon and how Charlie Bucket must have felt when he gently placed the everlasting gob-stopper back on Willie Wonka’s desk, ‘and so shines a good deed’. So doing the right thing can actually be cool, we need to remind ourselves of that, it’s good to be good.

So it’s your choice really, are you a Charlie Bucket or a Mr Slugworth? I know which one I would rather be, now where did I leave that Oompa Loompa wig!?!?

Alan Carroll

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Pall bearers




We loitered outside the house with bent heads and hushed tones
While the pall bearers closed our hall door
And privately manoeuvred the coffin out of the small parlour room
Neighbours and friends had gathered, necks strained to see a little more

Seven brothers suited in black for reverence 
With the oldest nephew making us eight
We took direction for lifting the heavy dead box
and lined ourselves up along the garden gate

In military style we swung it up to our embraced shoulders
It rested there for a moment while we accepted my father's weight
We shifted from foot to foot and searched for the cushion of our arms
and finally began to move in a measured and nervous gait

In silence and sunshine we thread the road
From house to church with jagged steps
Never showing the pain of the lifted box
As the wooden crate dug into our necks

The church door loomed as our journey ended
Signalling the end of our common goal
We handed him over to the waiting priest
Standing with holy water and incense to welcome his soul

Alan Carroll











Friday, 9 December 2011

Rosary




My 12 year old knees grew sore from the gnarly floorboards
And the angelus bell had long stopped ringing
We assembled around the seemingly large double bed
All pious with hands a wringing

Five mysteries to fill the time
With Hail Marys recited like clockwork from my Father’s holy face
We playfully nudged each other’s elbows
As he asked God for his mercy, love and grace

The evening sunshine blinded us through the metal framed windows
As his rosary beads rattled with each passing prayer
We slyly opened our eyes to softly snigger
And to spy the bed dust floating in the air

And now I stand by his six foot mahogany box
And the priest recites the Rosary and anoints his eyes
Time stands still in the packed parlour room
And we slyly open our eyes to cry





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Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Grave














The rock hard marble and Celtic cross
with flower pots and fancy stones
dress and decorate your hallowed ground
where your flesh ran deep amidst your bones


In this yard of graves the trees stand bare
and each sad plot attests to it's losses
all neatly ordered and grid aligned 
the rock hard marble and Celtic crosses


And why do we come to caress your name
and delve our hands amongst your flowers
and sadly hope to hear you speak
waiting for days, sitting for hours


Time to rise and leave this place
with thoughts of you written on my heart
till once again I can sit here and think
together forever yet always apart....



Thursday, 10 November 2011

Dear Facebook...I'm preggers!!


There are 750 million active users of Facebook worldwide, yes that's 750,000,000 users logging onto the world's most popular social media platform to share stories, feelings, photos, videos and do all other manner of exchanging information and interacting with friends, family and sometimes complete and utter strangers.

We have heard all of the statistics, founded in 2004 by a 5 year old Mark Zuckerberg, now worth a Gazillion dollars, soon to be used by every human being on the planet. Ok so I am being slightly facetious but you get the picture, this piece of software is a big deal, it's all things pervasive and invasive. What started out as a cool way to post your personal profile and your innermost thoughts on-line to your friends has become a social phenomenon, it's power and all encompassing girth straddles generations, your 14 year old son is on Facebook, so is your 35 year old sister, your 59 year old boss has a Facebook profile and your octogenarian grand aunt Gertrude is kicking it back once or twice a week with a cup of cocoa and a half hour catching up with her Grandkids.

Facebook is not just the preserve of teens or twenty somethings, neither is there a need to be a geek or technophile in order to get the most out of the platform, indeed it might be said (no data to back this up though) that real geeks probably shy away from Facebook and it's underbelly of prurience.
So the real beauty (or ugliness, depending on your disposition) of Facebook is in the fact that Mom, Dad and their teenage son could all be on the social network at the same time chatting and catching up with friends and relatives, it's long tentacles wrapping around each of them and entwining them and their contacts together in the social ether.

In my extended family there is a high level of Facebook usage amongst my 10 siblings and our 38 children, a decent few of the siblings have a profile and most, if not all, of their offspring over the age of 13 would use Facebook too.

Cousins catch up with cousins, sisters chat to brothers and there is a general exchange of family gossip, events and so forth, nothing mind blowing and rarely too controversial.

I have used the term 'crossing the Rubicon' a few times in my life without ever knowing the historical context of the phrase and where it came from, a couple of years I Googled the term, good old reliable Wikipedia gave me the following :

'Crossing the Rubicon is a metaphor for deliberately proceeding past a point of no return. The phrase originates with Julius Caesar's invasion of Ancient Rome (January 10, 49 BC), when he led his army across the Rubicon River in violation of law, thus making conflict inevitable. Therefore the term "the Rubicon" is used as a synonym to the "point of no return". Alea iacta est ("The die is cast"), which is reportedly what Caesar said during the aforementioned crossing of the Rubicon.'

So with that historical context firmly laid out I can safely say that I believe we have crossed the Rubicon in relation to how we use Facebook and the level and detail of information we post on the site for all to see.

Last week my niece, Belinda, posted a fuzzy photograph on her wall, no comment, just a photo, subtle and succinct. It was inevitable that one's curiousity was piqued as to the exact nature of the image, the Facebook thumbnail was small and you couldn't really figure out was it was without clicking on the image to open it. It quickly became evident that this image was a scan of a baby in utero and for that exact second of recognition the clarity and the simplicity of the message hit me like a ton of bricks, Belinda was pregnant! She posted no comment alongside the image, she knew no words would be needed, the visceral visuality of the message was delivered directly to your cerebral cortex and was processed in milliseconds, fait accompli!


And this is the point, Belinda wanted to deliver some good news to the masses, some wonderful information to share with her friends and family, she didn't want to send 50 text messages and emails, she didn't have the time (or phone credit) to call everyone, yet she wanted to spread the cheer to one and all. So the medium she chose to broadcast this deeply personal and joyful news was Facebook, pure and simple Facebook with it's open and candid format, tell the world how you feel, write it on your wall and hit the enter button, and that is it, done and dusted.

And the really amazing fact is the absolute reality that we are in the throes of a social media revolution, a couple of years back and Facebook was certainly not completely mainstream, in 2008 there were 100 million users, an absolutely massive number for sure, but fast forward to today and there again is that colossal number of users ; 750 million. To put some context on this let's consider that other great social club otherwise known as the Catholic Church, according to the Census of the 2011 Annuario Pontificio (Pontifical Yearbook), the number of Roman Catholics of the world is about 1.181 billion!

Wow, another global organisation with a massive membership across multiple countries and continents, but hang on, the Catholic Church has been recruiting members for the past 2000 years, ever since JC sacrificed himself on the cross for our sins the Catholic Church has been trying to expand it's reach while feverishly striving to hang on to existing members. In the crowded social media space Facebook competes with MySpace, Twitter and other platforms for the attention of their users, in the flesh and blood world where religion exists, and just like Facebook the Church spends considerable time and money competing with other religions to recruit, convert and retain followers. It will be interesting to see if the social media giant can usurp the Church in terms of members at some stage in the future!

So indeed we are in the midst of a paradigm shift in terms of how we use technology on a day to day basis to communicate to others various items of information, from the mundane 'I am feeling like a piece of crap today' to the much more important matter of announcing to the world that you are going to produce a new human being!
The Rubicon has indeed been crossed, there is no going back to the slow and low key nature of communications methods in the past. Today you can do a pregnancy test, get a result and share that news on-line within 30 seconds.

The real question is what comes next in terms of using social media in ones daily life?
Where is this all going, what happened to a good old fashioned chat over the phone or dare I suggest an actual social encounter in the flesh where you actually go and meet somebody to catch up on the comings and goings of life? Pressing and intriguing questions indeed!

Well that's it, this article is over, I am going to call my mother to talk to her and see how she is, how she is feeling and what she is planning for the rest of the week, maybe I will call in for a coffee..?

So I just called her house and my brother tells me 'she can't come to the phone, she is just updating her Facebook status, she will call you back later, or probably IM you during the week'!

Quick message for you :
If you liked the story I would be really happy if you helped share it with your fiends and followers via Twitter, Facebook etc.

So please do one (or all) of the following : leave a comment here on the blog, share this blog on your Facebook page, Tweet the link or maybe mail the blog to your friends, and if you want to hear about my next blog entry simply click on the followers link on this page.

Thanks
Alan